One of the best conversations I've ever had!
Posted by T.J. Mousetis on Sunday, September 13, 2015
Dad's Birth Story : All The Lessons My Wife Taught Me
I know that a lot of moms share their birth story, but dads are a part of it too, so I thought I would share my perspective on the most amazing, wild and craziest day of my life!
June was 10 days late. We were ready for her arrival in a big way.
But let me start the story 24 hours before she entered into this world. It was a cold February night and I was at youth group. In the packet that they hand out during small group time there was an activity that said, "Set up chairs in an obstacle course and have races over them." So we did exactly that. We raced, laughed and carried on like boys do. Our last race ended in a tie, and well, we had no choice - "we had to do a tie breaker." That line is in quotes because it has been repeated over and over again by our small group due to the events that followed. During the tie-breaker I jumped over a chair, like I had three times before, but this time I landed funny and BOOM - high ankle sprain. It was bad. Like, why is there a softball growing under my skin bad. Youth group ended and as I hobbled out into the bitter cold parking lot, I called my beautiful 10-day-late wife Brooke and lied to her. Flat out lied.
I said, "Hey babe. So... we were playing this game at youth group and I hurt my ankle. It looks a lot worse than it is, but it doesn't hurt too bad! I'll be home soon. Bye, I love you!"
For 12 painful minutes, I gassed and clutched my car all the way home, all while thinking how foolish I had been to get injured so close to my daughter's birth. I got home and Brooke was upstairs in our bedroom, so I hobbled to the kitchen to get some ice and walked as confidently as I could up the stairs without wincing. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, I see Brooke...having mild contractions. I sat on the edge of the bed as she looked and gasped at my injury and I assured her again that it looked worse then it felt. So I iced, we talked, watched a little TV and I fell asleep around midnight.
Four hours later, around 4:30am, I felt the sweetest tap on my shoulder and through squinted eyes I turned to see Brooke smiling at me and saying, "Hey, my water just broke. So..I think we should call Sherry (our doula) and go to the hospital."
I know I married-up when Brooke said, "Yes" to me almost 8 years ago. And I will forever be thankful for that moment, but it's moments like the morning of our daughter's birth that make me realize how true it is. Here is my 10-day-late-wife, calmly and quietly waking me up from sleep only minutes after her water broke. She is the ultimate calm and steady presence in my life and even through the craziness that is labor and delivery she was still her calm and steady self. In the stormy waves of life, my wife is the anchor that keeps our family calm, peaceful and safe.
I have never been more instantly awake in my life. My head started racing, "Oh My Word! My daughter is coming! June is coming! We get to meet her! Ahhhhhhh!!!" Then I got out of bed and my thoughts went to "!@()%R&U$@G#@%*($THGADNJ$U(%@*%@R!!!!!! What is happening to my ankle? Am I dying?!?!?!??!"
I was injured badly, for sure, but on the day your wife is going to give birth to you child, you can NEVER complain about pain. So, I winced, limped to the bathroom and took a really quick shower, while Brooke continued to have contractions in the bedroom and finished packing our bag.
Once I was out of the shower and ready to go I started moving carseats, bags, snacks and anything else I thought we would need to the car. My ankle was in so much pain, so at points I was literally just hopping on one foot across the street with piles of things in my arms. Anytime Brooke was near me I confidently walked on both feet so she wouldn't think it was as bad as it was.
With the car full of everything we thought we needed, we started our drive through the cold February night to the hospital. On the way we prayed, we sang worship songs, and I talked a mile a minute while Brooke breathed in and out, calm and steady like always! I realized on the way to the hospital that this would be the last car ride we would ever take as a family of two. Mind blowing.
We arrived safely at the hospital and went through the check in process - waiting rooms, triage, etc.
Between 6:00am (when we arrived at the hospital) and 8:39pm (the actual minute June arrived) time didn't exist to me. There was nothing to do besides be in that moment with the love of my life as she labored and worked. Brooke decided early on to do the "all natural birth thing", so she had been training for this moment for months. It truly was the most amazing thing I have ever, or will ever, see in my life. Childbirth takes more guts, courage and hardwork than anything I have ever watched - and that's not exclusive to natural childbirth. I have told people since June's arrival, and I will continue to tell people until the day I die, that a man could not do it. Not just because of our parts, but because of the type of strength it takes. The type of strength that is found only in a woman's will, a woman's courage and a woman's care.
Brooke labored while Sherry and I coached her. At times Brooke needed the coaching from her coach, Sherry, and at times she needed love from her husband, me. And isn't that so true for all of life? Sometimes we need to be told how it is from a boss, teacher, pastor or coach. And sometimes we need heaping piles of grace, love and a simple touch from the ones we love the most. It was in those blurry hours that I was realized that what Brooke was desiring during labor is what we, as people, are always desiring. We desire coaching, correction and doing the right thing - all while wanting grace to help carry us through those hard times. We all desire Jesus and even in Brooke's most difficult moments, I was learning that.
During those hours and hours of labor Brooke kept repeating, "I can do this. I can do this." Over and over again. She has no memory of saying that at all, but Sherry and I remember. Over and over again my strong-willed, amazing wife stayed confident in her mission to bring our little girl into this world. And again, life lesson number two here, we all need to stay confident of what we are called to do even in the most difficult moments. It would have been so easy for Brooke to say she couldn't do it and lose hope. But she didn't! She stayed confident even in difficulty and that was so inspiring. It's so easy to quit. But hard to push through in life and anytime I get frustrated or discouraged I just think of Brooke in those moments saying, "I can do this. I can do this."
Around 7:00-7:30pm, I all of a sudden remembered that my ankle was in pain and looked down to see that I no longer had a defined ankle area. My leg went straight from calf to foot and the swelling was starting to "ooze" over my shoe. It was gross. I needed to get off my feet for awhile, so I asked Sherry to sit by Brooke as I sat and iced my ankle for 20 minutes or so. Brooke has no memory of this either, which is good. I knew that what she was going through was harder and more painful than my ankle sprain could ever be, but that didn't mean that I wasn't having pain. I think sometimes we try to tell people that they can't complain because "people are dying in other countries" or because "my story is so much worse." But if it's real, pain is pain no matter what someone else is going through. We can be so insensitive sometimes declaring that because our pain is "worse", yours doesn't count. Even after June was safely here, Brooke was so concerned with my ankle because, even in pain and suffering, real, honest love cares more for others than for self.
Side note: Here is a photo of my ankle the morning after June was born, just so you can get a perspective of how bad it was (sorry it's gross). In case you were wondering I hurt the one on the right.
Back to the story - after 20 minutes of icing my ankle, I got back up and was right by Brooke's side. Coaching, kissing, whispering, singing and tell her anything she needed to hear. She has thanked me many times for my encouragement during labor. Encouraging words are so powerful and I have tried to use them more and more, at all times, in my life. Labor taught me how powerful our words really are and I hope to practice what I've learned for all of life. If we can encourage someone, why wouldn't we?
And then after 15+ hours Brooke started to push little June into this world. A woman pushing a baby out is like, in the "elegant" words of my brother-in-law, "the wild west". There can be screaming, crying, cheering, encouraging, sweat, tears, blood, fluids and just about everything else. If there was a venn diagram to describe labor it would be that small intersection where amazing, crazy, kind-of-gross and love, all meet in the middle.
It's raw and beautiful and almost unbelievable. But my wife did it and I have never been so proud of a human being in my entire life. I was crying and smiling and laughing and kissing and loving and amazed, and did I mention crying?, when little June made her first appearance into the world. She was slimy, and small and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
...and that was just the beginning....
Tomorrow my daughter will be seven months old! It's been the best seven months of my life, which all started with wildness, rawness and love. In these past seven months, I have seen the amazing things of life unfold right before my eyes. I have watched a little slimy infant grow, develop and learn. I can already see her personality, which thankfully is a lot more like her Moms than her Dads. I've watched her laugh, cry, giggle and scream! I've watched her discover her love of water, being outside and anything that makes noise. I've watched her jump for hours, seriously so many hours, in her jumper and put almost everything in her mouth that's within her tiny arm's reach. It's amazing.
But that is not even the most amazing part of these last seven months.
The most amazing part is Brooke. The strong and steady force in our family. The woman who is peaceful through the storm and calm amongst life's crashing waves. The woman who is the silent kind of strong and the deep kind of beautiful. I thought I knew Brooke pretty well before we were parents, but as we walk hand in hand through parenthood I have seen layer upon layer of her kind soul peeled back and am amazed at the beauty I see. As a husband, I think it would be easy to just see the dirty diapers, middle of the night feedings and a crying baby, but we should really strive to shift our focus to what our wives become when they enter motherhood. They become even more than we could have ever imagined in the most life-giving way.
Being June's Dad is totally awesome and one of my favorite things, but being a husband is even better, especially to a great mom. May I always remember what Brooke had to go through, both with the actual labor and what followed, to get to this point in life and all the lessons it taught me. Labor and delivery is beautiful, chaotic and incredibly real. My hope is that my whole life and the way I love will be a reflection of just that - beauty in chaos.
Brooke and June. The loves of my life.
Do You Want to Work Where You Work?
The space you work at/in is so important. I don't care if you are a blogger, designer, writer, chef or truck driver. Where you work affects the quality of your work. Always.
And so, ask yourself. Do you want to work where you work? Not the job itself, but literally the space you're surrounded by. (If you don't want to work at your job entirely, then... you need to read a different blog post.) Do you feel like it's a happy, inspiring and totally amazing place to be? If not, then why haven't you done what you can to change it?
Could you clean? Could you re-organize? Could you add art? Could you add photos? Could you move yourself toward the window? Could you get a plant... and then not kill it? Could you do something to make your workspace better? Probably.
So do it! Stop waiting to do it later - stay late and do it today, or come in early and do it tomorrow! You will feel better, work harder and have more fun being at work.
If you are a boss or manager and think your employees could use some time to spruce up their offices, then you should give them that time and maybe even a little money. Maybe they could buy a plant or some frames for their photos, or a new white board, or anything else that would liven up the space. The small amount of time and money it takes to fix things up will be worth the result of your employees enjoying being there more!
It's simple, easy and worth it. Make your space happier and more fun to work at today!
Here are some inspiring workspaces to help motivate you. I found them all on Pinterest. Imagine that. Click on the images to scroll through the gallery. Also, this post gives you full permission to paint all your wood floors white and never tell your landlord. Juuuuust kidding....
I Need a Serious Break From Series.
Do you guys ever feel like all your church does is talk about the series they just did, the series they are doing right now and the upcoming series? Well, that's how I feel.
I need a serious break from series.
Now, before you get all defensive, just hear me out - I totally understand the purpose of series in a church and teaching setting. It makes lots of sense to me at times, but I think it's currently out of control.
I once heard a pastor say, "I plan all my messages for the entire year in a few weeks."
That statement really bothered me. My first thought was, "What if the Holy Spirit wants you to teach something different at a specific time? Would you just ignore the calling because it doesn't fit into the series you planned months ago?"
With series teaching, are we letting the spirit of God guide and move our churches? Or are we the ones doing the guiding and moving months and months in advance?
Last time I checked, I didn't see Jesus on the Mount saying, "Today I start a series in miracles." He met people where they were with his teachings. When He spoke to a solider, He spoke about solider things and when He spoke to a rich man, He spoke of rich man things.
I often think the modern church has a similar marketing strategy to a playoff basketball game. If you have ever seen a playoff basketball game the home team usually provides shirts for their fans to wear, so that the whole arena can be one color! A shirt will be waiting for you on your seat, so that the second you sit down and put it on you're a part of the "White out", "Red out" or "whatever-the-team-color-is -out". The only problem is that the shirt on your seat is going to be an XXL or XXXL t-shirt. So for me, it fits... but does it really fit?
Are we setting up series, way in advance, only to clothe the audience in an XXL white shirt because it will "fit" the most people? Or are we speaking to specific people that God is calling us to call out - week in and week out?
As Americans this sends us into a slight panic attack because we have to plan, plan, execute, be efficient and execute and plan. Did I say we have to plan? We need a roll-in video and graphic to all go together because that is going to be the most put together way to bring people to Jesus.
Jesus used 11 normal dudes with no roll-in videos to change the world because they were lead by His spirit. Doesn't seem like He was worried about it being all wrapped up in one pretty package.
So, what is the balance of series and spirit lead teachings? Can they be the same? Absolutely! I definitely think God speaks through series and puts series in our teachers hearts months in advance. I love what my buddy Levi Lusko does at Fresh Life Church in Montana. He speaks in series all the time, but leaves a few weekends a year open to whatever God wants to speak that week. As I've listented to his sermons, I've found that on those open weeks he is constantly saying things like, "I am so excited for this message God is giving us today!"
What if we just left just one weekend a month open to let the spirit of God move in our churches and not be so "planny"? Would we see something really amazing happen? I think when we give God the chance to move in our hearts, lives and churches, He will usually use that space and MOVE!
If you are a pastor or church leader I would challenge you to take a break from the never-ending series schedule and just let the spirit of God move! Maybe that's exactly what God's been waiting for.
Here is one of those "open weekends" where Levi preached a message called "Grace, Grace! Two Steps to Your Left". It is one of the most powerful messages I have ever heard and I totally recommend watching it below, or listening to it on their podcast here!
10 Tips On Using Instagram for Business
In Episode 3 of the T.J. Mousetis Podcast I shared 10 tips on how to use Instagram for your business. I thought I would also post the 10 tips in a blog format, with visuals, to help you as well. Make sure you listen to the podcast though because I talk fast and fit a lot into each episode!
1. Have a mission statement specific to your brand's Instagram.
The walk in love instagram mission statement is this: The @walkinlove instagram exists to connect with our customers, promote our products and inspire our followers.
EXAMPLE : Even in this screenshot of 9 photos you can see us doing all the things in our Instagram mission statement. There are photos promoting products and sales, there is a re-post from our customer using the hashtag #iwearwalkinlove and there is general encouragement!
2. Ask yourself questions about your posts before you post them.
We ask a lot of questions about our posts before we post them. Like - Does this fit our mission statement? Is this the best time to post this specific photo? What did we post last? Does this photo add a good variety to our feed? Is it up to our standard? When did we last post something similar to this one? And so on. Asking questions about every post is always a good idea because it will help you not to simply post all willy-nilly. Having a plan of action is always better than not having a plan of action and asking yourself questions is the first step in helping you stick to the plan!
EXAMPLE : We try to post our celebrity photos during a time people will search for them. Like this photo we saved of Russell Wilson. We posted it while the Seahawks were playing because, you guessed it, more people would be searching for him on social media.
3. Have a schedule.
Do you post once a day? Twice a day? Three times a day? What is your schedule and are you sticking to it? With @walkinlove we try to post every 2-4 hours while we are awake on EST. It's the schedule that works for us and we have the content to support it. If you only post sporadically, you will have sporadic followers If you have consistent posts, you will have consistent followers. And consistent followers make consistent customers!
EXAMPLE ABOVE : Here are three photos we've posted today with a 4th on the way. Stick to your schedule!
4. Post should be good, but don't need to be perfect.
I think it's easy for creatives to obsess over every little thing, insisting that it's gotta be perfect. We can agonize over every little detail and with that mentality our content will never be "good enough." But sometimes, most times actually, done is better than perfect. And Instagram is a great place to practice that! Make sure things are as good as you can produce them at the time, but don't worry about every post being perfect.
EXAMPLE : Brooke takes and edits almost all of our Instagram photos with her iPhone. They are good, but we don't feel the pressure to take them with a real camera and edit them in Photoshop. We snap them with an iPhone because, again, they are good, not perfect!
5. Batch create content ahead of time.
This will help you stick to your schedule. Spend a few hours creating Instagram posts for the next week and you won't have to scramble to post something whenever it comes to your mind.
EXAMPLE : Anytime we get a new shipment of shirt Brooke takes them all to this white wall and takes individual shots of them on the sparkly hanger she made. It's great filler content for our feed and provides us with lots of photos to spread out over time!
6. Don't overkill aspects of Instagram.
#Have #you #ever #seen #a #post #like #this? Did I make my point? Aspects of instagram like hashtags, giveaways and specific types of post are great... but don't overkill them!
EXAMPLE : Sometimes you just need to keep it simple.
7. Rarely try to sell.
When you are always trying to sell something to people they will get really tired of it. Instead, use Instagram to interact with your customer base! Keep the sales pitches to a minimum, so when you do need people to purchase something, you can go all in on the posts about your sale or the new items in stock! Just like point 6 above, over-selling will create a lack-luster following, who will quickly get sick of the constant sales pitch. Add value to your followers lives so when you do sell they jump in!
EXAMPLE : See example 6.
8. Interact with your followers.
Answer questions, comment back and re-post photos of your fans interacting with your products. It's pretty easy!
EXAMPLE : Someone comments and asks a question. Comment back and answer it!
9. Don't copy. Be original
I feel like there is a commandment about this one. Try not to rip people off. Try to be original.
EXAMPLE : If I were to post a photo, don't recreate that same photo and post it. Especially if you're a brand.
10. Have Fun!
It's fun to have fun. Don't take Instagram too seriously. Have fun and show your customers your personality. People will appreciate it. One of my favorite things is when people tell me, "I feel like I know you because of Instagram." That's exactly what I want!
EXAMPLE : Have fun. Think about the things you think are fun and feature them on Instagram!
If you have any questions that you'd like me to answer on an upcoming podcast comment on this post or ask on one of my Instagram photos - @tjmousetis
What's In Your Tool Box?
I absolutely love Jesus. I believe He is real, wonderful and constantly pulling me towards a better version of myself. I literally want every single person to know who He is and feel the same life changing power I have felt. I want people to have their hearts and lives changed by the never-ending, amazing grace of Jesus!
If you feel the same, can I get an amen? (I'm going to assume you just said "Amen" out loud wherever you are!)
So let's open the toolbox!
Let's use every single thing we possibly can to proclaim, share and spread the message of unending grace and amazing love! If something isn't sinful, it should be in a christian's "toolbox"!
In my toolbox I have t-shirts, Instagram photos, humor, cute baby photos, excitement, a podcast, more t-shirts, meals, money, time, an iPhone app, hard work, passion, excitement and sometimes even video games (Two weeks ago, I told someone about Jesus and that they should read the gospel, all while playing Halo). I want God to use EVERYTHING He possibly can in my life to draw people closer to Him and most of the time I don't even have to open my mouth for him to do that.
Sometimes all I need to do is smile or have good sportsmanship. Sometimes it's just posting something encouraging on my social media, because I believe that God can use the silliest, smallest, most insignificant thing to bring someone to His Glory!
So open your toolbox and let God use whatever He can to expand His kingdom! I REPEAT, CAN I GET AN AMEN!?!?!?
The cool thing about toolboxes is that they are all different. A carpenter and an electrician will have very different tools on hand to get the job done. And they both work, and work well. Sometimes when I see people using different tools than me to proclaim the love of Jesus I think, "Why don't they do it like me?" I often struggle with people doing things differently than me, but I need to remember that God can, and will, use anything through them like He can through me. So if you see someone with a different set of tools, don't pick them apart. Instead, encourage them to keep using whatever they can for His purpose!
We are small, weak and most of the time really stupid. But our God is great, amazing and always at work. Let's try to play a part in that with whatever tools He has given us. I encourage you to open up your toolbox and let him use every tool at your disposal for His purpose and power!
