but I love you

This is probably the first easter in my life that I didn't go to church.  Brooke and I decided last night that instead of going to church this morning we would just spend sometime together.  I usually wake up before Brooke so this morning instead of getting up and feeding the cats and starting my day, I just laid in bed and looked out the sliver of window that the blinds were not covering and started thinking of the love that God has for me and so many others not in church on this easter sunday.  I wonder what his thoughts are about us while we lay in bed. I babysit my niece from time to time and I have this very vivid memory of her sleeping.  She was laying in her pack in play off centered, uncovered, and all sweaty.  I am only her uncle but I remember thinking that the love I have for this sweating baby is so extreme and she doesn't even really know me.  Her mind is undeveloped, she can barely talk or walk but I love her.  She cries over stupid things like food and naps and falling down but I love her.  She can't spell or write or read or move gracefully or sing but I love her.

While I was thinking of this seemingly insignificant memory of my niece I felt God speak these things to my heart.

You are small, weak and sinful but I love you.

You are easily frustrated, small-minded and petty but I love you.

You are not smart, slow to learn and overly confident but I love you.

You barely know me, do stupid things and worry too much but I love you.

Your heart is often cold and full of hate but I love you.

You don't listen to me all the time but I love you.

I know everything about you and I love you.

You are mine because I love you.

So whether you spent easter morning in church or watching youtube videos in bed with your wife may those words speak to you and may you know that even through all your faults and insecurities there is a God and he is saying, "I love you."

Are you worried?

Our store opens in 17 Days, 23 Hours, 7 Minutes and 43 Seconds. I've never opened a store before. We've had the kiosk a couple of years in a row now so I am not totally oblivious to everything that goes into it but a store is a lot bigger than a kiosk, a lot bigger. With a store you have to deal with construction and painting and shelving and floor and bags and more employees and scheduling and applications and...and...and...and....breathe....deep, deep breaths. Basically it's an overwhelming task. The other night I was sitting on the couch with my sister Sam and she loves when I fill her in on the store and our businesses so she always asks a lot of questions. Our conversation went like this:

Sam - When will all the shirts get here? I can help you fold, I am a really good folder T.J. - Hopefully they will get here the 25th of April, but it will probably be more like the 28th or 29th. Sam- Don't you open the 30th? T.J. - Yes. Sam- Aren't you worried?

That is such a key question at the forefront of my mind right now. "Are you worried?"

Worry and fear are such easy things to get lost in. They are two reasons that people don't do anything with their lives. If you let fear and worry totally consume and control you, your life will be meaningless. Our answer to the questions "Are you worried?" isn't just a question you need to think about when taking a business risk or big decision, it's a stance you take toward life.

I am not worried about the store. I could easily slip into a panic that could consume my thoughts and actions and the people around me but I have made the decision not to. I decided early in the store process to trust God. It's not an easy decision to live by but it's the only decision that will work. If you let fear and worry consume your thoughts, actions and words you will paralyze yourself to act out of fear.

Brooke and I have a really good friend that is only 15 years old. She seems more like 20 but she is only 15 and the reason that we are so fond of her is because she is fearless. She loves photography and wants to become a great photographer, so you know what she does?   She takes her camera out and shoots as many photos as she can of whoever will let her. Most new photographers are so scared of looking stupid that they never take any risks and try something new out of fear of looking stupid. So theses photographers slip into this "normal" way of shooting everything and become generic and plain while people like our friend have been out there trying and trying to come up with something new and inspiring. Now our friend might take 1000 stupid un-important photos, but then she could take 1 that could change the world, why? Because she's fearless. Now that's how I want to be. That's how I want to run my relationships and my business. I want to be fearless in the way I love people and customers. It may not be the way people have done it in the past but it's the way that I want to do it. I don't want to slip in this "business or life as usual" mindset because of fear and worry. I want worry and fear to take a back seat to ambition and faith and let God decide how far I can go because when we listen to fear and worry all we are doing is deciding how far we are going to go. Don't you think God might have bigger and better plans for our lives than we do?

Here are some awesome verses to read and post on your walls if you are constantly letting fear dictate your life:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

2010 : The best year of my life

2010 was the best year of my life. It was my first full year of self-employment, which meant that almost everyday this year I spent sitting 4 feet away from Brooke, my wonderful wife. We traveled to Las Vegas, Houston, Mexico, the beach, the mountains in Virginia and a ton of other places. We made huge investments into our businesses. We really started to settle into our house. We convinced our best friend to move to Lancaster. We became aunt and uncle for a second time. We took a lot of photos, sold a lot of shirts and spent hours laughing at our cats. Friends and family are always asking Brooke and I how things are going and I almost always answer the same way by saying, "Living the Dream." I say it partially seriously and partially joking because it's a kind of funny statement. As I take a retrospective look at the past year of my life I realize how silly that answer is because I could have never dreamed this life up. If you would have asked me even one year ago when I was getting ready to quit my job if I would have thought that this would be my life I probably would have believed 20% of it. I am amazed at the blessings that we've received this year. I am in awe of the wondrous love of God to fulfill our needs and bless us exceedingly more than we deserve. 2010 was amazing and I am grateful for all who contributed in ways both big and small. I am thankful for my wife who has pushed me this past year to dig deeper, think more and work harder to display the change that Christ has made in our life. I am thankful for my friend Jeff who has showed me how to love. I am thankful for Brooke's parents who have been a guide on how to love each other in the midst of stress and being self-employed. I am thankful for my parents who have believed in me through out this year in a very tangible way. Both Brooke's parents and mine are hard workers and we are so blessed to have been able to see that our entire lives and now apply it.

If every year can be like 2010 I would like to live till I am 200 years old. I am excited to get going on 2011. My hope is that it will be a year filled with the love of God and everything will fall as He sees fit.

Something is Missing.

This past week I was in Chicago for the Story Conference. It was a great conference and this isn't a post about all the stuff that I took away. I am not very good at recapping things. For me it was either good or bad. And Story was good. It was 5am on Saturday morning and we were packing up our stuff at the hotel to leave for the airport. I just got out of the shower and was about to put stuff in my hair. I always take off my wedding ring to do this. So, I took of my ring set it on the counter and put the stuff in my hair. I kept getting ready, got my bag, walked to the elevator, got in the van and headed to the airport. About half way to the airport I went to play with my ring with my thumb, like I do 100 times a day, but this time was a different. My ring wasn't there. It was still sitting on the counter in the hotel bathroom. Instantly I was overwhelmed by the "feeling." The "feeling" is when you know that you've made a mistake and you know that correcting it will take time and energy. The "feeling" when your stomach falls out and you want to swear. So without thinking I let out a gasp in the van. The guys immediately asked what was wrong and we called the hotel. I gave them my address to mail the ring back and the hotel said they would ship it right away. As I write this post I am wearing my wedding ring. Everything worked out. So, if you have the "feeling" thinking I lost my wedding ring, fear not, I have it back!

It took about 3 days to get my ring back. For three days I was ringless. Every couple of seconds I was going to re-adjust my ring and realizing it wasn't there. It was all I could think about it. I felt like everyone was staring at my hand. It was missing and I felt it. It was actually all I could feel. I didn't realize how much it had become a part of me for the past 16 months of my life. It really got me thinking about the idea of something missing. It is such a unique feeling that you can't describe until your in the midst of it. We were created to be filled with the spirit of God, but because of our broken world we all live with the feeling that something is missing. Jesus gives us the opportunity to be filled with his spirit and to eliminate that missing feeling. It seems so obvious to me that people in our world are looking for something to fill that void. We consume and consume all that we can to try and fill us and nothing ever seems to work. Feeling like something is missing is so distinct and overwhelming. It consumes our thoughts, our actions and everything we do. I don't know where you are while reading this, but if you feel like something is really missing, deep down within you, I want you to know that the only thing that can ever fill that is the Spirit of God. Maybe you've heard that before and have resentment toward the idea of God and Christ, but I urge you to take a personal journey into the gospels and find out who Christ is and what his promises can do for you.

I've had my ring back for over a week now, but I am so much more aware that it's there. I think there are seasons of our lives where we feel like God is missing, but are we aware when he's not? Are we noticing the beauty, grace and love he has filled our lives with? Or do we only notice when something is missing? I find myself appreciating my ring much more which has helped me appreciate my wife much more. I think in the same way we can realize how glorious God is and appreciate every aspect of life that he's given us a little more.

10 Questions with Jeff Frandsen

1. What is your name? Jeff Frandsen

2. How old are you? 23 years old

3. What do you do with your life? I'm a freelance photographer, I own and operate Jeff Frandsen Photography. I also have my own baseball blog, Half Mental.

4. What is your favorite activity? Watching baseball, especially the Mets. I watch at least an inning of over 125 baseball games a season.

5. Who is your greatest role model? My grandfather Don. Even though he passed away while I was in my early teens, to this day I remember all the values he pushed upon my life. Check nutrition labels, just a pinch of salt, never say "want," don't fart in public. The little things that made me the person who I am today. He worked for his whole life and dedicated himself to his family. And someday, I wish to cook as well as he did.

6. What is your greatest fear? Failure, which feeds from my perfectionist tendencies.

7. What are you most passionate about? Well that's easy. Photography and baseball. At any point in time, I can take the world, camera in hand, and prove that life is happening. And not only do I have the power to prove this, I am capable of uniquely and artistically telling the stories of the beautiful people around me. And being a Mets fan gives me my understanding of patience. I could rant for years about baseball, but let's just say I'm obsessed.

8. Where do you see yourself one year from today? From today? I see myself as happy. Busy, driven, motivated, inspired and just plain happy.

9. Who is your favorite person? Why? If I wanted to be funny I'd say my future wife. But in all honesty, I can't pinpoint ONE person to say is my favorite. I'm blessed to have the friends and family that I have today. Anyone that takes time out of their day to talk to me, get to know me, experience life with me is my favorite. So if that includes you, thanks.

10. What is your favorite quote? "Maxima enim..patientia virtus" or "patience is a virtue." I preach to others about patience and self control all the time, but struggle with it myself. When I was in high school, my best friend Jenna had told it to me and it has forever stood in my mind. Patience is a virtue.

LINKS: www.jefffrandsen.com & www.halfmental.com

TWITTER ID: @jefffrandsen & @halfmentalblog

Everything Is Relational

God's desire is for us to be in a relationship with Him. He wants us to trust, love and depend on Him and Him alone. In the garden of eden God walked with Adam, talked with Adam and had a relationship with Adam. Sin entered the world and destroyed that relationship, but God in all his goodness and grace sent Jesus to be a bridge to restore that relationship between us and God. God has always desired us to be in relationship with him, but also with others. In Genesis God said, "It's not good for man to be alone" so he made Eve. The reason I am saying all of this is because God wants us to be in relationships, with Him and with others, so why wouldn't he want the same with our businesses? Why are we quick to help a friend in need but slow to help another business in need? Are we afraid that if we help them they are going to surpass us and be better than us?

Brooke and I went to Las Vegas for WPPI and we got the chance to listen to the wonderful Dane Sanders who touched on this point by saying, "If we tell everyone our secrets we will have to find new ways to be better and if we all get better we all win." I love a lot of things about Dane Sanders, but what really inspires me is the way that he wants to make everyone better at being a photographer. There are a lot of photographers in the industry that aren't friendly. They don't like new photographers, they don't want to help anyone because they are afraid that if they do they will eliminate their own jobs. It's the same in the t-shirt industry. There is so much negativity on the blogs and forums out there because t-shirt companies don't want other t-shirt companies to succeed. They are afraid that if another succeeds that means they will fail.

I used to struggle with jealousy toward other clothing companies, but over the past year God has really been working on my heart to show me that if we aren't stingy with our advice and look to help each other, everyone wins. It all goes back to everything being relational. I don't think God has different plans for our personal and business lives. Our business should be another extension where we can express the love and grace of Christ to the world. We shouldn't be relational with our social life and stingy in our business life. We should look to bless the start-ups in the same way we look to bless friends and family in need. Being the light of the world is about using every venue you have to express the love of Christ, so let's start using our businesses to do this.

Imagine with me for a second if every Christian business owner looked to bless someone in the same industry that wasn't a Christian? Jesus says, "love your enemies" and I think that can translate to the business world as, "love your competition."